humour – Page 2 – DECISION STATS

Statistically Speaking

To call in the statistician after the experiment is done may be no more
than asking him to perform a post-mortem examination: he may be able to
say what the experiment died of.
~ Sir Ronald Aylmer Fisher

The plural of anecdote is not data.
~ Roger Brinner

The combination of some data and an aching desire for an answer does not
ensure that a reasonable answer can be extracted from a given body of
data.
~ John Tukey

In God we trust , All others must bring data

Statistics are like a bikini, what they reveal is not as important as what they hide.

There are three kinds of lies- lies, true lies, and statistics.

Three statisticians went to hunt deer. On finding a deer, the first statistician shot a bullet but hit 3 ft to the left,the second statistician shot a bullet and hit 3 ft to the right. The third statistician shouted and said ” We got him , We got him”.

Numbers dont lie, people do.

You may choose your opinion but the facts must remain the same for all.

Copytight Laws and Lawyers

Dear List,

There has been a surprising development. ABC corp , the top contributor to election campaigns of John McCain, Obama, Barr and Ralph Nader have managed to establish copyright on the definition of arithmatic mean, median and OLS regression. Anyone using these terms would have to either pay a very very small royalty or give some harmless personal privacy information to get nicely targeted ads.

The copyright was established using ABC corps legal body which is headed by a direct descendent of Isaac Newton and other mathematicians.

ABC corp has promised to help support the customers because their slogan is “do not be a evil donkey or a bad monkey”. Anti trust investigations against them were dropped some years ago, and this latest victory is expected to boost Wall Street, giving banks much needed relif so they can lend money to spend, even though they dont really need to spend that much.

For further breaking news , and other “analysis ” please visit www.iwannacrib.com. Do not click on the ads.

Regards,

Ajay Ohri

-Not paid by the campaigns of anyone .

The views are personal. Disclaimer- It means if I wrote something stupid , it was mine alone. MINE.

Politics of Change

Politics of Change (and other stuff)

You know politics is changing if your Senator is better on the internet than you are.
Its not changing if one candidate first puts the other person in campaign debt of 20 million and then writes a check for 2300 USD , expecting her to campaign.

http://www.time.com/time/cartoonsoftheweek/

You know politics is changing if blogs and You Tube are just as important than newspaper endorsements.
Its not changing when the internet just spreads rumors at a faster pace.
You know politics is changing when the North Koreans give up nuclear weapons on their own.
Its not changing if politicians fight over global warming. Thats called the weather and climate changing.
You know politics is changing when you have to choose between a black guy and a woman for a President.

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Its not changing if they just do the same old stuff.
You know politics is changing when people make songs and You tube videos of speeches.
Its not changing if speeches remain speeches.

Thanks for reading this stuff . Enjoy the change !

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Ode to an Ipod

Day before yesterday,

My younger borther gifted me an Ipod

for my 31 st birthday.

And now I am in love,

life a gift from heaven above,

with the smooth ipod,

in her little black dress.

The sound is good, the design is cool,

31 years it took me to realize I am a fool.

Why i didnot buy the I pod before ,

Why didnot I visit the i-tunes store.

And my friend Billy Joel sings,

his heart out on silvery ipod wings,

I rotate the dial a bit,

The songs are old, but they are still an hit.

Now I am maybe old, and getting older still,

but the Ipod classic gives my heart a thrill .

Whats your excuse mister, why dont you buy it too,

Give life some meaning , with more music in you.

Obama battles Clinton over the Guamanians

Both Clinton and Obama say they’ve got the better health plan for Guamanians.

Obama said in an interview with Pacific Daily News that he would support reexamination of a $5.4 million Medicaid spending limit imposed on the territory. Clinton’s husband, former President Bill Clinton, told KUAM radio earlier that his wife would work to remove the cap.

Hillary Clinton also has called for Guamanians to be able to vote in presidential elections.

That was from a NY Times Story………

Now here is Iwanna crib’s perspective

If George W Bush called people from Greece as Grecians what would he call people from Guam.

Johnny McCain cant distinguish his Sunnis from his Shias but wants to fight one and ally with the other.

Can John Mc Cain distinguish Guamanians .Last heard he said he was held five years prisoner there. Only to tell he was misquoted by the f**kinf reporters.

DREAM TICKET'08-Obama proposes Monica Lewinsky as VP to satisfy Clinton Camp

In a surprising development, Howard Dean, Chairman , Democratic National Party

announced at a conference today to finally bring the Democratic nomination to an end.

A visibly beaming Howard Dean almost screamed in joy, as he announced that Barack

Obama has proposed Monica Lewinsky as Vice President candidate. On hearing this

the Clinton campaign dropped their plans to throw kitchen sinks during the convention

and accepted the compromise. John Edwards would be presumptive Attorney General,

Al Gore will be environmental secretary. Hillary Clinton will be head of revamping

Social Security while in turn Bill Clinton will be Ambassador at Large to promote

American diplomacy among the world. Miss Lewinsky’s experience in White House,

her loyalty to the Clintons in standing hard with her story, the need to reach out to

White Female voters and Monica’s economics degree from London School of Economics

all played a part in this historic decision.This unites the party in fighting John Mc Cain

for the November elections. John Mccain reportedly had an unprintable reaction to this

news,

While the Democrats rolled out mock celebratory cigars after the press conference.

This is reporter John Doe, reporting live from Iwannacrib.com

DREAM TICKET’08-Obama proposes Monica Lewinsky as VP to satisfy Clinton Camp