Category: Internet

So I was swapping war stories with someone who really made some money on a unicorn. The only thing we could learn from the stories was – the sheer unpredictability in which people will lie to you and the sheer unpredictability by which people will be nice to you.

I mean forget all the data science prediction problems out there. Isnt this the only data science problem to solve- Whom to trust? When? For how much

What is surprising is the parallels in the intelligence spy business and the technology startup business.

1. Intel and Tech Startups are less glamorous than the look in books
2. They both involve long periods of boring inactivity and sudden periods of frenzied action
3. Relationships matter in the first and second oldest profession of the world but only for the moment. Relationships matter a lot more in the newest profession on the world- unicorn tech worker.
4. The stock options will never come on what you did in the past but just to hold you for the future.
5. Karma is the oldest Android App and it is really sweet piece of coding
6. Coffee and tea are good stimulants. Other stimulants get you in trouble as the founder President of Facebook found out.
7. Comfortable clothing is the norm in technology startups. Cool clothing is NOT the norm in the guys who will fund the technology startups atleast in many areas I have seen. Wear Slacks to meetings but not to the investor meetings.
8. Data never lies. People do.
9. People can manipulate truth and data to lies using ppts and statistics. You decide you wanna be a unicorn or a scientist
10. Nobody lost his job for being the hardest worker in the room. Nobody lost their stock options for being the nicest person in the company. Except for Woz. But  we all love Woz

I have met, talked, interacted, drank and ate with CEOs for a decade now. This ranges from CEOs of a few billion dollars annual revenue to CEOs of a few dollars more revenue. You can however relax on the length of article- there are NOT really 50 types of CEOs but sex sells and I thought lets write a blog post on CEOs that has subliminal connotation.

1. The founder CEO v1 – I can code  so I can create so I created a product and they think I am a unicorn and do you feel me here,  and he is always pushing another request to git
2. The founder CEO v2– I can sell  so I will sell and lets see what you have in your box, and boy I can sell and will kill your business monster and no I NEVER did ddduhrugs
3. The founder CEO v3 – I can network because I can keep my mouth shut and everyone thinks I am a good guy, which I worked very hard to create as my personal brand. GOOD GUY- what a personal brand.
4. The rack em and cash em  CEO– I cant code, sell or network but I am putting up the cash. I am the CEO, bitch – as Zuck used to say when he was  a young man before they took his innocence away and turned him into Riddick.
5. The badass CEO -I CAN code, sell AND network and I have money but secretly think I am Steve Jobs so I will have his arrogance but not his focus.
6. The Dormitory CEO– Got to be CEO because he happened to be in right Dormitory of right school getting drunk with the right guys in the wrong party where there were no women, and they were bouncing off ideas and one idea stuck. Notice the misogyny implicit. It is not accidental, wink wink. Also got second time lucky when people asked hey which one of us is going to be CEO, and they chose him because he talks and talks. Lean on the misogny in technology startups. Lean on.
7. The VC CEO also known as Hand of the King-  Did not create the company, product, idea but the sorted guy cleaning up the ahem product strategy. As Game of Thrones said, The King shits and the Hand wipes.
8. The restless CEO every three months gets a big bug in his arse about innovating and changing. Actually his ego can’t recognize his mediocrity. Actually does a very decent job of putting bread and butter on the table for the rest of the corporation. To cope with his restlessness, is sent to conference ever three month by His Board of Directors much to his chagrin
9. The gut feel CEO  Likes to sing Black Eyed Peas in review meetings. I got a feeling. This quarter is going to be a good time. This product is going to be a good good time. Covers up his arse pretty fast (CYA) when his feelings end up diminishing the moolah for the rest of gangsters.
10. The rolls his eyes CEO  a patient man who would have been a monk or professor in another time and age, rolls his eyes and gets his team of drama queens to play along

Do you know a CEO? Share your War Stories to CEOleaks.com Full confidentiality is assured and we have a contest. Winner gets his own T Shirt-  I am the Unicorn CEO, Switch

With a that tip to

https://www.quora.com/Whats-the-story-behind-Mark-Zuckerbergs-fabled-Im-CEO%E2%80%A6bitch-business-card

So you lived from weekends to weekends because the pay was good and the lifestyle was addictive . Then you never quit your day job, but a little voice gnawed inside your head and said with a whisper , Hey, Is there More to life. Is … there.. more?

So you got bored from your nine to nine job that was sucking out the mojo of our life and left you a TV channel zombie. Then you made a startup. Startups are so hot and everyone is the next unicorns.

But unicorns are an endangered species and are hunted for their meet and their horns. No one told you that.

The people . Oh the people.

The people you trained and promised to be with you forever. How they quit for a 30% hike. The people who held your hands and promised to help you with cash and mentorship and connections. How they smiled when they asked for 25 % of your sale and two board seats.

The lies. Oh the lies. There is no lie for giving or receiving lies for startups.

So all the angel investors died and Satan Ventures is all you have left.

Have faith. Your rebound is around the corner.

Enjoy the roller coaster.

Because a good roller coaster will always make you scream a few times.

 

 

So okay I got your attention and it got you here.  And yes I will try to distort reality like the guru of distorted reality himself in his videotaped conferences.

I will try not to be personal about Steve’s personal life and Bill’s wealth. Give me 60 billion dollars and I will try and make the world a better place too. Give me 60 bucks and I will try and make this next hour a better place

What did Bill do better than Steve did?  He managed his mood swings better. Actually he never need to manage that at all. He managed his personal life better for sure. Bill Gates sure managed his stock option negotiations better, except I think Steve Ballmer got way too many options that he deserved which he respectfully reinvested in the tech ecosystem by buying a sports team.

20 years before Zuckerberg settled money for stealing ideas from his Harvard brothers, Bill Gates  settled dues for his cough inspired interface and actually cough cough invested in Apple. So this is not a comparison on ethics too.

NO NO NO. Steve was awesome but Bill got rich. Would you rather be rich or would rather be awesome?

Steve lived an awesome life as a rockstar techie. No one can accuse Bill Gates of living a rockstar life. I am sure the rockstars would complain.

Steve managed the ups and downs in his products much much better. Sure Lisa bombed and Macintosh boomed and NeXT was ok and Pixar was awesome and the i-series brought a tonne of money

Mac,Pod,iTunes,Phone,Pad they all started with the iCEO Steve.

Cook is no Steve Jobs. Steve Jobs didnt write many lines of code in his life but he could sell.

But Jobs got  overworked , and in the end the man became a bigger brand than his company. Bill Gates retired at 50 knowing he was handing off stuff to Ballmer who aint that Great as Gatesy , but he quit in time.

So live like Steve Jobs, but know when to quit and retire and take that money and enjoy life.

(inspired by the writing by http://lefsetz.com/wordpress/ )

 

 

We both lie silently still
in the dead of the night
Although we both lie close together
We feel miles apart inside

Was it something I said or something I did
Did the words not come out right
Though I tried not to hurt you
Though I tried
But I guess that’s why they say

Chorus:
Every rose has its thorn
Just like every night has its dawn
Just like every cowboy sings his sad, sad song
Every rose has its thorn
Yeah it does

I listen to our favorite song
playing on the radio
Hear the DJ say loves a game
of easy come and easy go
But I wonder does he know
Has he ever felt like this
And I know that you’d be here somehow
If I could have let you know somehow
I guess

Chorus

Though it’s been a while now
I can still feel so much pain
Like a knife that cuts you the wound heals
but the scar, that scar remains

I know I could have saved a love that night
If I’d known what to say
Instead of makin’ love
We both made our separate ways
But now I hear you found somebody new
and that I never meant that much to you
To hear that tears me up inside
And to see you cuts me like a knife
I guess

Chorus

 

ps- Every rose has its thorn, every blogger has its horn.

1. CONTENT LINK SHARING- Post 4 articles a week on blog. Post 10 links a day on Facebook to current and old content
2. SCRAPE CONTENT- For your discussion forum Scrape content from Stack Overflow and rewrite it to make it more user-friendly. Boost SEO using link sharing (step 1)
3. LINK SCHEMES-  Accept 70,000 rs for promoting trainings on your blog. Then post links on it.
4. FAKE ACCOUNTS- Use fake accounts to post content on discussion forum
5. ARBITRAGE-  Google Report spam links are here

https://www.google.com/webmasters/tools/spamreport

https://www.google.com/webmasters/tools/spamreport?hl=en

 

But Facebook addresses SPAM completely different in it’s user interface.  It actually encourages people to create fake accounts to boost content spamming though it kind of dents its own advertising promoted content revenue by doing so.

https://www.facebook.com/help/205730929485170

How do I report spam on Facebook?

 

This leads to arbitrage opportunities in which spammy behavior in one social media is just enthusiastic behaviour in another social media.

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-message begins–

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Predictive Analytics World for Government is the largest and only vendor-neutral analytics conference for government. We are holding our fifth annual conference this October 13-16th in Washington, DC at the Grand Hyatt Washington Hotel.

Keynote Speakers:

Chesley Richards, MD, MPH, FACP CDC Deputy Director Public Health Scientific Services Actionable data is the key to improving population health: A CDC Perspective

Mark Peterson, Ph.D. Division Chief, Data and Analytics U.S. Agency for International Development (USAID) Harnessing the Data Revolution for International Development

Jennifer Shasky Calvery Director Financial CrimesEnforcement Network (FinCEN) Follow the Money: Harnessing the Power of Advanced Analytics to Combat Financially Motivated Crimes

Catherine Templeton Former Director of theSouth Carolina Dept of Health and Environmental Control & Former South Carolina Secretary of Labor Reforming Government: Where is the Public Servant to Start?

 

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Plus a special plenary session from industry heavy-weight:

 

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Predictive Analytics World for Government (PAWGOV) is a practically-focused conference that highlights case studies of how government agencies are currently using data analytics to solve real world problems.

Last year, PAWGOV had over 400 participants and we expect PAWGOV2015 to top 500 participants this October. Click here to view the agenda at a glance.

 

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