DREAM TICKET’08-Obama proposes Monica Lewinsky as VP to satisfy Clinton Camp

In a surprising development, Howard Dean, Chairman , Democratic National Party

announced at a conference today to finally bring the Democratic nomination to an end.

A visibly beaming Howard Dean almost screamed in joy, as he announced that Barack

Obama has proposed Monica Lewinsky as Vice President candidate. On hearing this

the Clinton campaign dropped their plans to throw kitchen sinks during the convention

and accepted the compromise. John Edwards would be presumptive Attorney General,

Al Gore will be environmental secretary. Hillary Clinton will be head of revamping

Social Security while in turn Bill Clinton will be Ambassador at Large to promote

American diplomacy among the world. Miss Lewinsky’s experience in White House,

her loyalty to the Clintons in standing hard with her story, the need to reach out to

White Female voters and Monica’s economics degree from London School of Economics

all played a part in this historic decision.This unites the party in fighting John Mc Cain

for the November elections. John Mccain reportedly had an unprintable reaction to this


While the Democrats rolled out mock celebratory cigars after the press conference.

This is reporter John Doe, reporting live from Iwannacrib.com


Cutting Down Office Costs:Downloading by DAP and Bit Torrents

Some of these tips may be familiar.Some may be surprisingly different

Here are ways to 1) search for hard to find softwares 2)download and queue downloads  with resume/pause functions

Bit Torrents are the best way to download anything . To quote the Openoffice website ”

About BitTorrent

BitTorrent is a P2P method where a central ‘tracker’ keeps track of who is downloading and sharing specific files.

When using BitTorrent to download OpenOffice.org, your computer automatically uses spare bandwidth to help share the file with others, and this means that you don’t have to put up with slower downloads during peak download times (such as just after a release), because the more people downloading, the more people sharing.

Also, your download is automatically checked for integrity to make sure that it is identical to the official version.

To use BitTorrent technology, you must have a BitTorrent “client” installed.

BitTorrent Clients

For normal downloads , use DAP from www.speedbit.com. Thats best suited. Also try compressing stuff before uploading.This does have an impact on office bandwidth usage costs. For cutting down on software costs  for your organization, download Ubuntu Linux from http://www.ubuntu.com  and OpenOffice from http://www.openoffice.org and use it for top 10 % technically qualified people, or bottom 10 % computers that basically use simple processing tasks like email, office,front desk etc.Then expand or tweak the percentages based on the results and satisfaction from users.

To cut down on intranet costs , you can use simple softwares from www.wordpress.org and host it on a computer for whole office to use it as an intranet. For creating an office newsletter , you can burn the feed at www.feedburner.com and use the email plugin to offer subscription to the email users.

Compression Tips

1) Stuck with Huge Datasets in SAS.

Use SAS Code,

Options compress=yes

2)Stuck with huge datasets in UNIX Space.

Use compress “filename.extension”

3) Huge data in Windows- Use the following utility

Use 7 Zip.Open source

You don’t need to register or pay for 7-Zip.



Web Forms through Internet:FREE

That is corrct. Thanks to Google Docs, you can create a web form like a spreadsheet, share it with some people, and voila ..its like web form through the internet.

Possible applications:

DATA COLLECTION from multiple sources, then aggregate,download it ,import  and submit it to SAS,SPSS or any statistical software.


ONLINE SURVEYS also become more easy, given widespread usage of Gmail. I can create a form, short survey send it to all people in my egroup and then collect the results.


Go to http://docs.google.com/

and follow the instructions for creating a web enabled form that collects data into a spreadsheet.


Features: Creating forms


You can create a form from any spreadsheet. Just follow these instructions:

  1. Open a new spreadsheet.
  2. Save the spreadsheet.
  3. Click the Share tab.
  4. Under ‘Invite people:’ choose the radio button to fill out a form.
  5. Click Start editing your form… In the form template that opens, you can add any questions and options you’d like.
  6. Click the Next, choose recipients tab. Here, you can add email addresses, a custom confirmation message, and choose whether you want people to see the responses.
  7. When you’re finished, click Send.

Here are some additional tips:

  • If you’ve edited a form and need to send it again, click the Edit and resend button in the lower-left corner of the Share tab.
  • To see the results of a form, open the original spreadsheet. It’s a good idea to use the same name for the form as your spreadsheet, so it’s easier to find.
  • To turn off a form, go to the Share tab of your spreadsheet and click Turn off form in the lower-right corner.
  • Remember, the spreadsheet row, cell and column limits apply to the spreadsheets attached to your forms too “””

Baby Boy

My sleepy son, my sleeping child

So beautiful and yet so fragile

Breath flows like a breeze

In your dreams you smile


While I watch awestruck

Cant believe this stroke of luck

Like a lovely angel on the earth

Can’t help staring at you for a while


All neatly dressed all scrubbed and cleaned

Adequately diaperized and hair all preened

Oh so handsome like a miniature toy

Sleeps so smugly my baby boy


The sleepless nights and missed work

For you it is all worthwhile

Only fathers can share this joy.

Rocking to sleep the baby boy.







I am thinking

Of the pain

You feel for the instant

When the bullet hits your brain


Thinking despite

Medicines and drugs that dull

The self destructive tendencies

Embedded in my skull


Missed opportunities

And hard to miss betrayals

Of erstwhile friends, foes

Maligned my portrayal



The potential I had

As a young boy of twenty

Accumulates painful negativity

At a not so young thirty


I could have been, Should have been,

Would have been someone

Had not my impulses

Imploded in front of everyone


And now regret haunts

The crevices of my brain

Till I pop one more pill

Dull it all again



Learning R Easily :Two GUI's

Both Rattle and R Commander are very good GUI’s (graphical user interface) for R, and considerably easier for a beginner than the command line console ( but I am more partial to RCmdr for normal statistical analysis while Rattle seemed to have better Data Mining Interfaces and functionality).

Here is a snapshot for both of them.

Installing them both is a breeze as you set a CRAN Mirror from Normal R Console and install package from list of package names . R has hundreds of packages (All free!!) and you can thus install specific packages to your need and usage.The software R automatically downloads and installs them.


Installling both these GUI will ensure you cut down the time to learn commands as you can first click and try and learn the syntax that is auto generated side by side.