Old Movie Review:Golmaal

Amol Palekar (as Laxman Prasad)

Amol Palekar (as Laxman Prasad)

Gol Maal could be translated as “Risky/Crooked Business” or “Hanky Panky”. It is the story of a fun loving and happy-go-lucky guy Ramprasad Dashrathprasad Sharma (Amol Palekar), who is a chartered accountant and is looking out for a job. His uncle advises him to seek employment at his friend Bhavani Shankar’s (Utpal Dutt) firm who is a very strict person and has a fascination for Indian values and the “moustache”. He believes that a moustache represents one’s conscience. Mr Shankar is ready to pay a few hundred rupees as salary to a young, inexperienced man as long as he fits his values. On his uncle’s advice Ramprasad gets a job by exaggerating his Indian values (by wearing an excessively short kurta pajama instead of his usual flashy shirts, using his full name without abbreviations, feigning ignorance of music and sports and demonstrating professionalism.)

Bindiya Goswami (as Urmila)

Bindiya Goswami (as Urmila)

He once takes leave by pretending that his mother (who passed away many years ago) has taken ill, and goes to watch a hockey match. Unfortunately, Bhavani Shankar, who also attended the match, sees him there. The next day Bhavani summons Ramprasad to his office and asks him about the hockey match. Remembering the plot of a movie a friend of his is shooting, Ram convinces Bhavani Shankar that he had seen his “moustache-less” identical twin Lucky (alias Lakshmanprasad Dashrathprasad Sharma) at the stadium.

Amol Palekar (as Ram Prasad)

Amol Palekar (as Ram Prasad)

Bhavani Shankar buys his argument. Ramprasad offers to resign since he has lost the confidence of his boss. Bhavani Shankar feels bad about accusing him and decides to make amends by hiring Lucky to teach his daughter Urmila (Bindiya Goswami) music. Ramprasad reluctantly shaves his mustache to become Lucky and starts to mentor Urmila. He is helped by his actor friend Deven Verma (playing himself) in securing a fake moustache and spirit gum. And thus begins Gol Maal – the comedy of errors. In all the confusion Ram finds that he also has to arrange for a mother, a role filled by Mrs Srivastav (Dina Pathak) a socialite with an acting hobby, deal with Urmila’s love to Lucky and hatred towards Ramprasad, and come out unscathed in the end.

From Wikipidea

Old Movie:Let it go my friend , Jaane Bhi Do Yaaro

200px-jaane_bhi_do_yaaro_1983_film_poster.jpg

Professional photographers Sudhir Mishra and Vinod Chopra open a studio in the prestigious Haji Ali area, and hope to make enough money to keep it running. After a disastrous start, they are given some work by the editor of “Khabardar”, a publication that exposes the scandalous lives of the rich and the famous. They accept it and start working with the editor herself, Shobha Singh. They also decide to enter their name in a contest to win Rs.5000/- and take a number of photographs all over the city. In one of the photographs they see a man with a gun. Upon enlarging it, they find out that the killer is none other than builder Tarneja.

Upon further investigation they find out that he has killed Municipal Commissioner D’Mello and left his body behind some bushes. Before the duo could get to the body, it disappears. Disappointed the hapless duo continue working with Shobha. They locate it and take a number of photographs of the corpse, and wheel it with them with the hopes of exposing Tarneja. Suddenly the body disappears. Later they find out that the body is with Tarneja’s rival builder, Ahuja who had accidentally carries the coffin tied to his car and shift it to his farm house. They provide this information to Shobha, who in turn starts to blackmail Tarneja for a ransom amount. He invites Shobha and her associates to crack a deal and plants a bomb to kill them.

Unfortunately the bomb explodes right in the face of Tarneja and his employees and the trio escape from the scene. Then the duo take the corpse, and wheel it with them, but not before Tarneja, Ahuja, the new Mun. Comm. Srivastava, Shobha and others also get involved – resulting in a comic mix-up with burkha-clad woman.

The climax is set upon a stage dramatization of Mahabharat, which hilariously turns into the ill-fated romance of Salim and Anarkali – with the corpse taking the part of Draupadi and Anarkali, and the vile Duryodan pledging to save Drupadi’s honor at any cost! What will be the fate of the corpse and our hapless heroes must be seen to be believed!

True Corporate Story

superman.jpg

From a news story 

American Apparel chief executive Dov Charney is facing a sexual harassment trial. He denies the charges.

Dov Charney, founder and chief executive of casual fashion giant American Apparel, acknowledges that he has appeared in his underwear many times in front of male and female employees.

And yes, on a few occasions during work meetings, he donned a skimpy garment that barely covered his genitals.

But those events, he said, have to be understood in the context of the fashion industry

“I’m the CEO of a public company,” he said in a recent interview. “I manage 7,000 employees in 14 countries. . . . Could I have done all this where I’m inappropriate all the time? Where I’m running around in my underwear all the time?”

As creative director of the company, he appointed himself fit model, the person who tests the look and size of his men’s line. He has even appeared in the ads. “I weigh 155 pounds, I’m five-10. Am I not fit? Is there any job that is not appropriate for me to do?” he said. “All the big guys did exactly what I do. Versace — they all wore their own bathing suits.”

In a deposition, he said that during the time of Nelson’s employment he “frequently had been in my underpants . . . because I was designing an underwear line.”

“I’m very proud of the underwear,” he added.

In an interview, he also defended appearing in front of Nelson with just his genitals covered. “The demonstration of the” garment, Charney said, “was a product we were considering — and I was in fit condition for it.” He ultimately decided against putting it in the American Apparel line

IWANNACRIB: What do you call a Boss who wears underwear in front of everyone?

ANSWER         :Superman CEO

A Dog's Life:Corporate Tale

It’s a Dog’s Life-:
dog.jpg
A butcher watching over his shop is really surprised when he sees a dog coming into his shop. He shoos him away but the dog is back after some time. So he goes over to the dog to chase him out, and notices that the dog has a note in his mouth.

He takes the note and it reads: ” Can I have 12 sausages and a leg of lamb please? The dog has money in its mouth, as well”.

The butcher looks inside and lo and behold there is a $10 note there. So he takes the money and puts the sausages and the lamb in a bag, placing it in the dog’s mouth.The butcher is so impressed, and since it’s about closing time, he decides to shut the shop and follow the dog.

So off he goes and follows the dog. The dog is walking down the street and when it comes to a level crossing, the dog puts down the bag,jumps up and presses the button. Then it waits patiently, bag in mouth, for the lights to turn.They do, and it walks across the raod, with the butcher following him all the way.

The dog then comes to a bus stop and starts looking at the timetable. The butcher is in awe as the dog stops a bus by pulling it’s left leg up.Then it gets into the bus.The dog then shows a ticket which is tied to its belt, to the bus conductor. The butcher is nearly fainting at this sight, and so are the other passengers in the bus. The dog then sits near the driver’s seat looking outside. As soon as the stop is in sight, the dog stands and wags its tail to inform the conductor. The, without waiting for the bus to stop completely, it jumps out of the bus and runs to a house very close to the stop.

The dog nudges open the big iron gate and rushes towards the door. As it approaches the wooden door, the dog suddenly changes it’s mind and heads towards the garden.It goes to the window, and beats it’s head against it several times, walks back, jumps off and waits at the door.

The butcher watches as a big guy opens the door, and starts abusing the dog,kicking him and punching him, and swearing at him.

The butcher is surprised at this and runs up to the big guy and asks him:
” What in heaven’s name are you doing? The dog is a genius. He could be on TV, for the life of me!”.

To which the guy responds: “You call this clever? This is the second time this week that this stupid dog’s forgotten his key”.

Moral of the Story:

You may continue to exceed onlookers expectations but shall always fall short of the boss’s expectations.

It’s a dog’s life after all……………………….”

A Dog’s Life:Corporate Tale

It’s a Dog’s Life-:
dog.jpg
A butcher watching over his shop is really surprised when he sees a dog coming into his shop. He shoos him away but the dog is back after some time. So he goes over to the dog to chase him out, and notices that the dog has a note in his mouth.

He takes the note and it reads: ” Can I have 12 sausages and a leg of lamb please? The dog has money in its mouth, as well”.

The butcher looks inside and lo and behold there is a $10 note there. So he takes the money and puts the sausages and the lamb in a bag, placing it in the dog’s mouth.The butcher is so impressed, and since it’s about closing time, he decides to shut the shop and follow the dog.

So off he goes and follows the dog. The dog is walking down the street and when it comes to a level crossing, the dog puts down the bag,jumps up and presses the button. Then it waits patiently, bag in mouth, for the lights to turn.They do, and it walks across the raod, with the butcher following him all the way.

The dog then comes to a bus stop and starts looking at the timetable. The butcher is in awe as the dog stops a bus by pulling it’s left leg up.Then it gets into the bus.The dog then shows a ticket which is tied to its belt, to the bus conductor. The butcher is nearly fainting at this sight, and so are the other passengers in the bus. The dog then sits near the driver’s seat looking outside. As soon as the stop is in sight, the dog stands and wags its tail to inform the conductor. The, without waiting for the bus to stop completely, it jumps out of the bus and runs to a house very close to the stop.

The dog nudges open the big iron gate and rushes towards the door. As it approaches the wooden door, the dog suddenly changes it’s mind and heads towards the garden.It goes to the window, and beats it’s head against it several times, walks back, jumps off and waits at the door.

The butcher watches as a big guy opens the door, and starts abusing the dog,kicking him and punching him, and swearing at him.

The butcher is surprised at this and runs up to the big guy and asks him:
” What in heaven’s name are you doing? The dog is a genius. He could be on TV, for the life of me!”.

To which the guy responds: “You call this clever? This is the second time this week that this stupid dog’s forgotten his key”.

Moral of the Story:

You may continue to exceed onlookers expectations but shall always fall short of the boss’s expectations.

It’s a dog’s life after all……………………….”

20 Steps to Creating a Website Business

1) Create a Business Plan

2) Create a Website Layout Plan

3) Choose a Domain name from http://www.register.com.

4) Go to a site like http://www.bluehost.com which offers server space

5)  Register your website there. Choose the DNS Servers and IP Addresses of DNS Servers.

6) Log into http://www.yourdomainname.com/c-panel . Go to Fantastico (thats a Purple Smiley)

7) Install WordPress on the Server

8) Log Into your Website at http://www.yourdomainname.com/wp-admin with the WordPress User name and Password

9) Go to http://yourdomainname.com/wp-admin/post-new.php to start putting up new content.

10)  Burn your RSS Feed at http://www.feedburner.com. Choose an option/widget for offering email subscriptions/newsletters.Paste that code on your website.
11) Go to http://www.wordpress.org to search for appropriate Themes (which determine look) or Plugins (which determine functionality) of your website

12) Download a FTP Client called Filezilla (search from Google.com).

13) Download appropriate themes and plugins from WordPress.org or Google Searches

14) Upload using the Filezilla FTP Client

15) Go to http://www.google.com/analytics. Install tracking code in the footer of your website to analyze traffic.

16) Go to http://www.google.com/adsense and sites like bidadvertiser, http://www.lemonade.com to install ads at appropriate places in your website.

17)Start promoting your website simultaneously refreshing the content. This can also mean buying ads on http://www.google.com/adwords

18) Submit your articles/posts to http://www.digg.com and http://www.stumbleupon.com . You can also share your website posts using Facebook (post on your profile and also use Notes-a Facebook Application)

19) Submit your blog to http://www.technocrati.com

20) Monitor Traffic and Tweak content, look and strategy and take feedback to boost traffic.Re-do steps 18-20 for atleast six months

PS:If these twenty steps don’t work mail me at ajay@virtua-analytics.com and I will work for you for a contract fee 🙂

The Flight :A Crib in Poetry

aeroplane-in-sunset.jpgDamn flight is a a damn late

First thing in the morning

Something I hate

Now I watch with bemused smile

Watch the masses trickle in

if but for a while

Then announcements ,so loud and clear

buckle up, store your bag

Watch the safety drill dear

Here comes the blue clad air hostess

Teaching the various ways

To Exit and Egress

Please start the plane,

Its All started now again

Loud humming sound of the airborne train

Just when I catch a bit of sleep

Blue Clad hostess offers fresh juice please

No thanks Sleepily I try to feign

Impossible co passenger wants to go to the loo again

All too soon, flight is about to land

Buckle up again, loud voices demand

Screech and thud, these voices then command

Thank you sir, Please fly with us again

Blue clad Hostess smiles to compensate air borne pain

(From my book )