Category: sarcasm

The inevitable rise in transnational cyberactivism

There are four kinds of hackers

  1. Kickass- working for NSA, and apparently China in hacking Google, and Russia in hacking Clintonian Dynasty from Castle Rock. Not to forget Israelis who did Stuxnet
  2. Dumbass- FBI paying a lot to decrypt an iPhone and using Wikileaks data to make statements a week BEFORE elections
  3. Smartass-Wikileaks
  4. Wiseass- CIA describing Russian hack efforts AFTER elections

Meanwhile in Moscow and St Petersburg and Romania, old friends are meeting over glasses of vodka and asking each other whether they did the “Trump” hack and if they got paid in gold, diamonds or casino chips

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Algorithm to deal with a broken heart

  • Abort (A): Terminate the operation/program and return to the system command prompt.[2] In hindsight this was not a good idea as the program would not do any cleanup (such as completing writing of other files). “Abort” was necessary because early DOS did not implement “Fail”. It may have remained necessary for poorly written software for which “Fail” would have caused a loop that would have repeatedly invoked the critical error handler with no other way to exit.
  • Retry (R): DOS would attempt the operation again.[2] “Retry” made sense if the user could rectify the problem. To continue the example above, if the user simply forgot to close the drive latch, they could close it, retry, and the system would continue where it left off.
  • Ignore (I) (older versions of DOS): Return success status to the calling program/routine, despite the failure of the operation.[2] For instance, a disk read error could be ignored and DOS would return whatever data was in the read buffer, which might contain some of the correct data from the disk. Attempting to use results after an “Ignore” was an undefined behavior.[2] “Ignore” did not appear in cases where it was impossible for the data to be used; for instance, a missing disk could not be ignored because that would require DOS to construct and return some kind of file descriptor that worked in further “read” calls. This is not available if DOS cannot read any sector from the first sector of a floppy disk or a partition of a hard disk to the last sector of the root directory.
  • Fail (F) (DOS 3.3 and later): Return failure status to the calling program/routine.[2] “Fail” returned an error code to the program, similar to other errors such as file not found. The program could then gracefully recover from the problem.

from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Abort,_Retry,_Fail%3F

In the lines above replace DOS with LOVER, and you have the algorithm

Top five unethical companies in India

not including political parties or state governments here is a list of top 5 unethical companies in India in terms of controversies

  1. Company 1 -cant say because they bought ads on my media channel
  2. Company 2- censored because they are friends to the government
  3. Company 3- threatened with goondas as well as law suits
  4. Company 4- included only so we can play with it’s stock price
  5. Company 5- a company on its way down and no friends to help

That is how the way the financial media reports news on companies in India. This is because unlike the United States , our SEBI ( equivalent to SEC) does not investigate insider trading with the same zeal as Preet Bharara does.

dlbrt-mktg-plan2

Sorry for the spam.

Unrelated-

http://www.indiaresource.org/campaigns/coke/2008/kaladeraunethical.html

http://www.siliconindia.com/news/business/10-Most-Unethical-Business-Actions-nid-124219-cid-3.html

 

 

Using ggplot in Python #python #dataviz

Based on the open source project at http://ggplot.yhathq.com/ here is small training ppt created by one of our wonderful summer interns Sarah

Hat Tip  to http://www.amazon.com/Grammar-Graphics-Statistics-Computing/dp/0387245448

Leland Wilkinson the inventor of Grammar of Graphics now works for Tableau Software

 

 

Life of a startup guy in India

  1. Sometimes VC money is like BC money
  2. we can build Taj Mahal in excel
  3. angel investors all died and went to heaven where they are watching Indra and Maneka
  4. devil is in details of everything they asked you to just sign saying, arrey yaar, this is a standard form
  5. hiring is always just in time
  6. zuckerberg is the 10th avatar of vishnu
  7. a million dollars is not cool. A billion dollars is cool. A billion people is even hotter
  8. lying is number 3 sport after cricket and politics discussion
  9. everybody criticizes anything
  10. steve jobs came to india as a teenager. So Indians can claim credit
  11. every indian american who got succesful is because of his Indian DNA as per our newpapers
  12. everybody knows anybody. Or says they do
  13. every developer can learn hadoop in 2 days just payment in advance
  14. every client’s cheque is delayed atleast once
  15. Dilbert was a graduate from IIT
  16. In india there is no ration on passion, but often we have passion for ration
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