Author: Ajay Ohri
http://about.me/ajayohri
The mathematical equation of Karma
Karma.
(Sanskrit: कर्म; IPA: [ˈkərmə] ; Pali: kamma)
Karma that Indian word, is as global now as the other word Yoga. Some say Karma is a bitch, some say Karma is a cliche.Some say Karma is a lama who sells T-Shirts in China. I demur against these Eastern winds. In the West, Some say Grace shall alone save you. Grace has not replied to my voice messages lately.
To my mind the closest thing to Karma is – Newton’s Third Law. Every action has an equal and opposite reaction.
Every good thing you do will lead to some good thing to happen to you in future. That’s Karma. Every bad shit that happened to you was payback for something bad you did, thought or planned earlier. The mathematics on Karma has a long period. So shit that you did in your previous birth ( or Life- 1) can lead to shit to happen to you in next birth. That’s reincarnated Karma.
M1 V1 == M 2 V2
That’s momentum. Momentum is mass into velocity. How big your startup is it’s momentum. How fast is it growing? That’s velocity. The 1 is for the body that starts the initial chain reaction. The 2 is for the body that reacts. Ecosystems react to disruptions in multiple ways. Ecosystems protest at innovations in multiple ways. Unless the right players have been paid and the right influencers have been fed.
M1V1 == M2 V2 + M3 V 3
Momentum never dies. If it is transferred to more than one body, the sum of the total momentum remains the same. Don’t confuse the ecosystem’s reaction to momentum with energy dissipated due to friction.
Newton who made Newtons law had a personal experience of Karma. His brilliant career was filled with occasional Politicking as he denied Leibnitz his due in Calculus. But you cant keep a good German Philosopher down without staying down with him. Wikipedia says, In philosophy, Leibniz is most noted for his optimism, i.e., his conclusion that our Universe is, in a restricted sense, the best possible one that God could have created. That’s a four links in one sentence. talk about Wikipedia and Link Bait. Leibnitz’s grave went unmarked for more than 50 years
Who created calculus? Wikipedia doesn’t care! Calculus will help you measure your karma. presque tout de ce calcu!
As for Isaac,
Newton wrote a number of religious tracts having emptied his intellectual batteries in Physics. You can accuse Newton of almost being a Republican. He hanged several people as Britain moved to paper money. I wished we had a Newton to manage the move to digital money. Newton lost huge money in slave trade. The man who monetized Apple Trees 400 years before Steve Jobs, well, Isaac died a virgin. Time spent fucking Leibnitz did not count.
Curious minds often converge on the same idea.
What do you do when you discover that your idea is not your idea but just something that the universe spawned in multiple heads in the same epoch. How you deal with the karma of your basic idea, is how you will find the universe pay you back for what you owe or what you sow in the ether.
Karma is both a bitch and a cliche. Momentum won’t die. Entropy will only increase. Physics is just a TV show.The universe will find a way to pay you back for the beauty and the shit you left in it. We shit once a day, and bullshit many times in the same day. Karma is a not bull shit. Its an ancient concept. Think of Karma as dinosaur shit.
Think of Karma when you negotiate salaries and stock options. The world will be a much better place for it. Focus on creating the good stuff and wait for the universe to react.
Data Science is the new kung fu and everybody was
I get dragged, cajoled and manipulated into meetings galore.Those meetings can be summed up into- Hey, I have huge data, and I spent my life with Microsoft certifications and SQL.How do I deal with this data oil, data deluge, etc etc. These remind me of Bruce Lee and the way he started before he started swinging his wooden nonchuck.
Hire us, I say, laconically, to the people expecting us to solve Big Data problem on a whiteboard and a ppt.
On the other side I train people to be data scientists because the oil rush is on and everyone wants to learn how to use a shovel or spade. Some people need a certificate to get a shortlisted In a interview, some need the minimum knowledge to clear an interview, and everyone wants to know what will happen to their career after 10 years of being a data scientist. These things are like the 36 chambers of Shaolin except the teacher is doing all the tasks on a web conference
I don’t know, I say, apologetically, to the wanna be most sexy profession, data scientists to be.
I also do data science unicorn startups on the side. These things are like Jackie Chan movies, where a challenge is offered to the doju master and a few jokes later everything is getting pummeled or broken. Sometimes there is a pretty girl but this is rarely done. In the technology start up world in India, we dont read Sheryl Sandberg enough.
Pay me, I say, with a greedy glint in my eye to wannabe unicorns.
Slacks Lies and Stock Options
So I was swapping war stories with someone who really made some money on a unicorn. The only thing we could learn from the stories was – the sheer unpredictability in which people will lie to you and the sheer unpredictability by which people will be nice to you.
I mean forget all the data science prediction problems out there. Isnt this the only data science problem to solve- Whom to trust? When? For how much
What is surprising is the parallels in the intelligence spy business and the technology startup business.
- Intel and Tech Startups are less glamorous than the look in books
- They both involve long periods of boring inactivity and sudden periods of frenzied action
- Relationships matter in the first and second oldest profession of the world but only for the moment. Relationships matter a lot more in the newest profession on the world- unicorn tech worker.
- The stock options will never come on what you did in the past but just to hold you for the future.
- Karma is the oldest Android App and it is really sweet piece of coding
- Coffee and tea are good stimulants. Other stimulants get you in trouble as the founder President of Facebook found out.
- Comfortable clothing is the norm in technology startups. Cool clothing is NOT the norm in the guys who will fund the technology startups atleast in many areas I have seen. Wear Slacks to meetings but not to the investor meetings.
- Data never lies. People do.
- People can manipulate truth and data to lies using ppts and statistics. You decide you wanna be a unicorn or a scientist
- Nobody lost his job for being the hardest worker in the room. Nobody lost their stock options for being the nicest person in the company. Except for Woz. But we all love Woz
50 shades of CEOs
I have met, talked, interacted, drank and ate with CEOs for a decade now. This ranges from CEOs of a few billion dollars annual revenue to CEOs of a few dollars more revenue. You can however relax on the length of article- there are NOT really 50 types of CEOs but sex sells and I thought lets write a blog post on CEOs that has subliminal connotation.
- The founder CEO v1 – I can code so I can create so I created a product and they think I am a unicorn and do you feel me here, and he is always pushing another request to git
- The founder CEO v2– I can sell so I will sell and lets see what you have in your box, and boy I can sell and will kill your business monster and no I NEVER did ddduhrugs
- The founder CEO v3 – I can network because I can keep my mouth shut and everyone thinks I am a good guy, which I worked very hard to create as my personal brand. GOOD GUY- what a personal brand.
- The rack em and cash em CEO– I cant code, sell or network but I am putting up the cash. I am the CEO, bitch – as Zuck used to say when he was a young man before they took his innocence away and turned him into Riddick.
- The badass CEO -I CAN code, sell AND network and I have money but secretly think I am Steve Jobs so I will have his arrogance but not his focus.
- The Dormitory CEO– Got to be CEO because he happened to be in right Dormitory of right school getting drunk with the right guys in the wrong party where there were no women, and they were bouncing off ideas and one idea stuck. Notice the misogyny implicit. It is not accidental, wink wink. Also got second time lucky when people asked hey which one of us is going to be CEO, and they chose him because he talks and talks. Lean on the misogny in technology startups. Lean on.
- The VC CEO also known as Hand of the King- Did not create the company, product, idea but the sorted guy cleaning up the ahem product strategy. As Game of Thrones said, The King shits and the Hand wipes.
- The restless CEO every three months gets a big bug in his arse about innovating and changing. Actually his ego can’t recognize his mediocrity. Actually does a very decent job of putting bread and butter on the table for the rest of the corporation. To cope with his restlessness, is sent to conference ever three month by His Board of Directors much to his chagrin
- The gut feel CEO Likes to sing Black Eyed Peas in review meetings. I got a feeling. This quarter is going to be a good time. This product is going to be a good good time. Covers up his arse pretty fast (CYA) when his feelings end up diminishing the moolah for the rest of gangsters.
- The rolls his eyes CEO a patient man who would have been a monk or professor in another time and age, rolls his eyes and gets his team of drama queens to play along
Do you know a CEO? Share your War Stories to CEOleaks.com Full confidentiality is assured and we have a contest. Winner gets his own T Shirt- I am the Unicorn CEO, Switch
With a that tip to
Jazz in front of Bombay Sea with Igor Butman
Serendipity, luck and sheer chut-zpah enabled me to watch from the front seat, a jazz performance by Igor Buttman and the quartet at the NCPA , Mumbai. Most of the crowd was elderly Parsis, so I really didnt help matters by wearing a baseball hat.
The jazz was lovely. The quartet has a pianist who is blind and has golden hair, and man, he could sing too besides playing BOTH classical piano and jazz. He needs to be taught a lesson by Butman into humility though.
an amazing blind pianist and vocalist, Oleg Akkuratov. A visually challenged boy from a small Russian town, Armavir, Akkuratov is an exceptionally talented pianist and vocalist, a unique jazz and classical musician, who participated in UNESCO’s International Choir. He has won numerous international contests and has been awarded the World Health Organization’s “Health” award, entitled “For the will to live”. At the age of nineteen Oleg outplayed many others to win the International Piano Competition in Novosibirsk.
He has performed in the Olympic Games and Para-Olympic Games, inspiring many handicapped people.
SAS livestreams it’s Government Leadership Forum
The agenda is impressive-The technology is simple
the 14th Annual SAS Government Leadership Forum
http://www.govexec.com/govexec-sponsored/2015/08/sas-government-leadership-forum-livestream/119080/
Today more than ever, data is interwoven in our lives. We know the positive, progressive things that big data enables. We’ve also seen the dark side, marked by cybercrime, fraud, privacy breaches and more. To make better decisions faster that lead to real change, it’s crucial that everyone involved in those decisions has access to the right information. SAS® makes this possible. Join us for this exciting forum to learn about all the innovative technologies that are transforming how we run government, our businesses and the world. You’ll see firsthand how SAS makes analytics accessible to everyone today to uncover new and exciting opportunities that effect real change, faster than ever thought possible.
Forum Highlights:
- Keynote presentation by Alec Ross, former Senior Adviser for Innovation to Secretary of State Hillary Clinton and author.
- General sessions featuring government and SAS executives on fast-evolving analytical technology and how it’s changing our world.
- Breakout sessions on best practices and stories of innovation in fraud and improper payments, cyber security and more.
Join the conversation by tweeting #SASGOV!
Agenda
(all times EDT)
| 8:00 a.m. | Welcome Remarks Karen Terrell, Vice President, SAS Federal |
| 8:15 a.m. | Keynote: Cybercrime and Cyberwar Alec Ross, former Senior Adviser for Innovation to Hillary Clinton and author |
| 9:15 a.m. | General Session: Analytics in Action Keith Collins, Executive Vice President and Chief Information Officer, SAS |
| 10:00 a.m. | VIDEO BREAK No Video During This Time |
| 10:20 a.m. | Panel Discussion: The Case for the Chief Data Officer Dr. Peter Aiken, Author, The Case for the Chief Data Officer Dr. Tyrone W A Grandison, Deputy Chief Data Officer, US Department of Commerce Jon Minkoff, Chief Data Officer, Enforcement Bureau, Federal Communictions Commission Moderator: Constance Sayers, President, Government Executive Media Group |
| 11:30 a.m. | VIDEO BREAK No Video During This Time |
| 12:15 p.m. | Approachable Analytics: Put the Power of Insight in Every User’s Hands Bernard Blais, Senior Manager, Americas Technology Practice, SAS |
| 1:15 p.m. | General Session: Reduce the Hacker’s Advantage – How to Improve Cybersecurity With Analytics Ray Boisvert, President and CEO of I-Sec Integrated Strategies (ISECIS) Sheldon Shaw, Cyber Analytics Specialist, SAS |
| 2:15 p.m. | Closing Remarks |


