True Corporate Story

superman.jpg

From a news story 

American Apparel chief executive Dov Charney is facing a sexual harassment trial. He denies the charges.

Dov Charney, founder and chief executive of casual fashion giant American Apparel, acknowledges that he has appeared in his underwear many times in front of male and female employees.

And yes, on a few occasions during work meetings, he donned a skimpy garment that barely covered his genitals.

But those events, he said, have to be understood in the context of the fashion industry

“I’m the CEO of a public company,” he said in a recent interview. “I manage 7,000 employees in 14 countries. . . . Could I have done all this where I’m inappropriate all the time? Where I’m running around in my underwear all the time?”

As creative director of the company, he appointed himself fit model, the person who tests the look and size of his men’s line. He has even appeared in the ads. “I weigh 155 pounds, I’m five-10. Am I not fit? Is there any job that is not appropriate for me to do?” he said. “All the big guys did exactly what I do. Versace — they all wore their own bathing suits.”

In a deposition, he said that during the time of Nelson’s employment he “frequently had been in my underpants . . . because I was designing an underwear line.”

“I’m very proud of the underwear,” he added.

In an interview, he also defended appearing in front of Nelson with just his genitals covered. “The demonstration of the” garment, Charney said, “was a product we were considering — and I was in fit condition for it.” He ultimately decided against putting it in the American Apparel line

IWANNACRIB: What do you call a Boss who wears underwear in front of everyone?

ANSWER         :Superman CEO

A Dog's Life:Corporate Tale

It’s a Dog’s Life-:
dog.jpg
A butcher watching over his shop is really surprised when he sees a dog coming into his shop. He shoos him away but the dog is back after some time. So he goes over to the dog to chase him out, and notices that the dog has a note in his mouth.

He takes the note and it reads: ” Can I have 12 sausages and a leg of lamb please? The dog has money in its mouth, as well”.

The butcher looks inside and lo and behold there is a $10 note there. So he takes the money and puts the sausages and the lamb in a bag, placing it in the dog’s mouth.The butcher is so impressed, and since it’s about closing time, he decides to shut the shop and follow the dog.

So off he goes and follows the dog. The dog is walking down the street and when it comes to a level crossing, the dog puts down the bag,jumps up and presses the button. Then it waits patiently, bag in mouth, for the lights to turn.They do, and it walks across the raod, with the butcher following him all the way.

The dog then comes to a bus stop and starts looking at the timetable. The butcher is in awe as the dog stops a bus by pulling it’s left leg up.Then it gets into the bus.The dog then shows a ticket which is tied to its belt, to the bus conductor. The butcher is nearly fainting at this sight, and so are the other passengers in the bus. The dog then sits near the driver’s seat looking outside. As soon as the stop is in sight, the dog stands and wags its tail to inform the conductor. The, without waiting for the bus to stop completely, it jumps out of the bus and runs to a house very close to the stop.

The dog nudges open the big iron gate and rushes towards the door. As it approaches the wooden door, the dog suddenly changes it’s mind and heads towards the garden.It goes to the window, and beats it’s head against it several times, walks back, jumps off and waits at the door.

The butcher watches as a big guy opens the door, and starts abusing the dog,kicking him and punching him, and swearing at him.

The butcher is surprised at this and runs up to the big guy and asks him:
” What in heaven’s name are you doing? The dog is a genius. He could be on TV, for the life of me!”.

To which the guy responds: “You call this clever? This is the second time this week that this stupid dog’s forgotten his key”.

Moral of the Story:

You may continue to exceed onlookers expectations but shall always fall short of the boss’s expectations.

It’s a dog’s life after all……………………….”

A Dog’s Life:Corporate Tale

It’s a Dog’s Life-:
dog.jpg
A butcher watching over his shop is really surprised when he sees a dog coming into his shop. He shoos him away but the dog is back after some time. So he goes over to the dog to chase him out, and notices that the dog has a note in his mouth.

He takes the note and it reads: ” Can I have 12 sausages and a leg of lamb please? The dog has money in its mouth, as well”.

The butcher looks inside and lo and behold there is a $10 note there. So he takes the money and puts the sausages and the lamb in a bag, placing it in the dog’s mouth.The butcher is so impressed, and since it’s about closing time, he decides to shut the shop and follow the dog.

So off he goes and follows the dog. The dog is walking down the street and when it comes to a level crossing, the dog puts down the bag,jumps up and presses the button. Then it waits patiently, bag in mouth, for the lights to turn.They do, and it walks across the raod, with the butcher following him all the way.

The dog then comes to a bus stop and starts looking at the timetable. The butcher is in awe as the dog stops a bus by pulling it’s left leg up.Then it gets into the bus.The dog then shows a ticket which is tied to its belt, to the bus conductor. The butcher is nearly fainting at this sight, and so are the other passengers in the bus. The dog then sits near the driver’s seat looking outside. As soon as the stop is in sight, the dog stands and wags its tail to inform the conductor. The, without waiting for the bus to stop completely, it jumps out of the bus and runs to a house very close to the stop.

The dog nudges open the big iron gate and rushes towards the door. As it approaches the wooden door, the dog suddenly changes it’s mind and heads towards the garden.It goes to the window, and beats it’s head against it several times, walks back, jumps off and waits at the door.

The butcher watches as a big guy opens the door, and starts abusing the dog,kicking him and punching him, and swearing at him.

The butcher is surprised at this and runs up to the big guy and asks him:
” What in heaven’s name are you doing? The dog is a genius. He could be on TV, for the life of me!”.

To which the guy responds: “You call this clever? This is the second time this week that this stupid dog’s forgotten his key”.

Moral of the Story:

You may continue to exceed onlookers expectations but shall always fall short of the boss’s expectations.

It’s a dog’s life after all……………………….”

20 Steps to Creating a Website Business

1) Create a Business Plan

2) Create a Website Layout Plan

3) Choose a Domain name from http://www.register.com.

4) Go to a site like http://www.bluehost.com which offers server space

5)  Register your website there. Choose the DNS Servers and IP Addresses of DNS Servers.

6) Log into http://www.yourdomainname.com/c-panel . Go to Fantastico (thats a Purple Smiley)

7) Install WordPress on the Server

8) Log Into your Website at http://www.yourdomainname.com/wp-admin with the WordPress User name and Password

9) Go to http://yourdomainname.com/wp-admin/post-new.php to start putting up new content.

10)  Burn your RSS Feed at http://www.feedburner.com. Choose an option/widget for offering email subscriptions/newsletters.Paste that code on your website.
11) Go to http://www.wordpress.org to search for appropriate Themes (which determine look) or Plugins (which determine functionality) of your website

12) Download a FTP Client called Filezilla (search from Google.com).

13) Download appropriate themes and plugins from WordPress.org or Google Searches

14) Upload using the Filezilla FTP Client

15) Go to http://www.google.com/analytics. Install tracking code in the footer of your website to analyze traffic.

16) Go to http://www.google.com/adsense and sites like bidadvertiser, http://www.lemonade.com to install ads at appropriate places in your website.

17)Start promoting your website simultaneously refreshing the content. This can also mean buying ads on http://www.google.com/adwords

18) Submit your articles/posts to http://www.digg.com and http://www.stumbleupon.com . You can also share your website posts using Facebook (post on your profile and also use Notes-a Facebook Application)

19) Submit your blog to http://www.technocrati.com

20) Monitor Traffic and Tweak content, look and strategy and take feedback to boost traffic.Re-do steps 18-20 for atleast six months

PS:If these twenty steps don’t work mail me at ajay@virtua-analytics.com and I will work for you for a contract fee 🙂

The Flight :A Crib in Poetry

aeroplane-in-sunset.jpgDamn flight is a a damn late

First thing in the morning

Something I hate

Now I watch with bemused smile

Watch the masses trickle in

if but for a while

Then announcements ,so loud and clear

buckle up, store your bag

Watch the safety drill dear

Here comes the blue clad air hostess

Teaching the various ways

To Exit and Egress

Please start the plane,

Its All started now again

Loud humming sound of the airborne train

Just when I catch a bit of sleep

Blue Clad hostess offers fresh juice please

No thanks Sleepily I try to feign

Impossible co passenger wants to go to the loo again

All too soon, flight is about to land

Buckle up again, loud voices demand

Screech and thud, these voices then command

Thank you sir, Please fly with us again

Blue clad Hostess smiles to compensate air borne pain

(From my book )

Who's your Boss Now?

The boss and you funny or true?

When you take a long time, you’re slow.
When your boss takes a long time, he’s thorough.

When you don’t do it, you’re lazy.
When your boss doesn’t do it, he’s too busy.

When you make a mistake, you’re an idiot.
When your boss makes a mistake, he’s only human.

When doing something without being told, you’re overstepping your authority.
When your boss does the same thing, that’s initiative.

When you take a stand, you’re being bull-headed.
When your boss does it, he’s being firm.

When you overlooked a rule of etiquette, you’re being rude.
When your boss skips a few rules, he’s being original.

When you please your boss, you’re apple polishing.
When your boss pleases his boss, he’s being co-operative.

When you’re out of the office, you’re wandering around.
When your boss is out of the office, he’s on business.

When you’re on a day off sick, you’re always sick.
When your boss is a day off sick, he must be very ill.

Who’s your Boss Now?

The boss and you funny or true?

When you take a long time, you’re slow.
When your boss takes a long time, he’s thorough.

When you don’t do it, you’re lazy.
When your boss doesn’t do it, he’s too busy.

When you make a mistake, you’re an idiot.
When your boss makes a mistake, he’s only human.

When doing something without being told, you’re overstepping your authority.
When your boss does the same thing, that’s initiative.

When you take a stand, you’re being bull-headed.
When your boss does it, he’s being firm.

When you overlooked a rule of etiquette, you’re being rude.
When your boss skips a few rules, he’s being original.

When you please your boss, you’re apple polishing.
When your boss pleases his boss, he’s being co-operative.

When you’re out of the office, you’re wandering around.
When your boss is out of the office, he’s on business.

When you’re on a day off sick, you’re always sick.
When your boss is a day off sick, he must be very ill.

%d bloggers like this: