Regret

Regret

 

 

I am thinking

Of the pain

You feel for the instant

When the bullet hits your brain

 

Thinking despite

Medicines and drugs that dull

The self destructive tendencies

Embedded in my skull

 

Missed opportunities

And hard to miss betrayals

Of erstwhile friends, foes

Maligned my portrayal

 

The potential I had

As a young boy of twenty

Accumulates painful negativity

At a not so young thirty

 

I could have been, Should have been,

Would have been someone

Had not my impulses

Imploded in front of everyone

 

And now regret haunts

The crevices of my brain

Till I pop one more pill

Dull it all again